


Not Boys Anymore

by TheNymphNagisa



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Adults, Childhood Friends, Crack, Funny, High School, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Neighbors, Poor Theon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 19:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20363602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNymphNagisa/pseuds/TheNymphNagisa
Summary: Theon, Ramsay and Robb have known each other for a really long time, but today Ramsay and Robb aren't friends anymore. They aren't boys and they need to decide who is going to marry Theon and who is going to cry a river, like grown ups.In other words, Robb and Ramsay fight to win Theon's love and Theon is tired of his stupid friends.Basically, it's just crack.(First fic on AO3, and I am french so...excuse my french !)





	Not Boys Anymore

"Stark..." 

"Bolton..." 

They aren't little boys anymore. Ramsay's shoulders look now like two hills of muscles, strong, trained by years of archery and stupid fights with other dumb teenagers, but Robb's chest is broader, thanks to athleticism, and his body is much bigger.

They see each other almost every week, because when Theon is not with Robb, he is with Ramsay and vice-versa, in spite of the fact that they are not friends anymore. Something has changed. And they both know what. Today is actually the first time they talk since High School. 

" I heard very unpleasant news from Myranda last night. " Ramsay notes casually. 

"Really ? Which ones ?" 

"You are apparently going to ask Theon to marry you ? You know you aren't his boyfriend, right ?" 

"And neither are you. So nothing can actually stop me..." Robb retorts, feeling his blood boiling. 

Ramsay isn't the strange guy upstairs, he isn't Robb's weirdest friend, he isn't that teen who listens to hard rock music while smoking in class, that man who wears pink socks so well, or who helps him with his biology homeworks, not anymore, not in Robb's mind anyway. Now he's only his enemy. He shouldn't have fallen in love with Theon. 

"Theon is mine", Ramsay adds, almost spitting in his opponent's face. "I saw him first. He was my friend before he even knew you. " 

"Maybe. But then he used to live with me. " 

"He didn't really have a choice, Stark. Anyway, guess what. I was preparing my proposal too, but since we've met here, I think we should decide who's gonna marry him. Only one of us can do it, after all. Don't you think so ?" 

"I do", Robb answers in a serious tone. "For once I agree with you, psycho. "

They aren't boys anymore. They cant fight like little children by now. They can't destroy each other's castles of sand, they can't pull each other's hair.  
They won't do that. Today they are strong men, they can fight for real. It could be war. 

"Nice. So let's do this the old way, Stark. You against me. Do you understand what I mean ?" 

"Sure. You better be prepared for the Battle of your life. " 

" I don't have any doubt", Ramsay said, not smiling for once. " It's going to be a bloodbath. And I am about to win the lady's kiss. " 

They both take a deep breath, ready to go. 

"Rock, Paper, Scissors !!!" 

XXX 

"So, are you really saying that I should marry you because you won a stupid game ?!!" 

Ramsay smiles at that, a big, dangerous grin, revealing how pleased he is. Robb, sitting on the coach, groans that Ramsay always has been the lucky one and that it was unfair, but Theon feels to tired to listen to him. 

"Yes", Ramsay answers. " Rock, Paper, Scissors isn't a stupid game..." 

" And will I have a say in things that happen to me someday ???" 

"Of course not, baby." 

"You would if I was the lucky one !" 

Theon sits on his chair, sighing. He needs to have a little conversation with the Drowned God about his miserable life.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. I said it was crack. Poor Theon anyway x)  
A little question : I have a lot of Theon OS in stock, in english, some crack, a lot of angst or reflexions, some poetic things.(often Thramsay or Throbb) Should I do one work full of these one shots or should I post them like this one ?  
Thank you !


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